< The Beginning of True Adulthood >
2025.09.11
Seunghee You
Seunghee You
How many “true adults” can we expect to encounter in our lifetime? From the moment of birth, the very first beings we face are adults. Throughout life, we meet countless adults, yet encountering a true adult is exceedingly rare. The dictionary defines true as “something not deviating in the least from fact or reason.” Borrowing from this definition, a true adult may be understood as someone who accepts and practices truth and reason without the slightest deviation. The emphasis here is on the phrase “not in the least”—even the smallest deviation is not permitted. To attain such a state, how much self-scrutiny and humility would be required of a human being? It is therefore unsurprising that meeting a true adult is so difficult.
After marriage, when the desire for a child arose, I became all the more curious about what it means to be a true adult. Interestingly, the dictionary lists “a married person” as the third definition of an adult. While adulthood cannot be reduced merely to marital status, I find a certain validity in this definition. Marriage is a profound process of unification that may serve as an important task for becoming an adult. For two different individuals to build one household is by no means easy. Especially when neither is diminished and both remain whole while becoming one, and further, when the birth of a child requires yet another process of becoming one, marriage may be understood as a rite of passage toward maturity.
We know well that maturity can only be achieved through a time of refinement, a process akin to “discipline by fire.” The family is the arena in which such refinement takes place, enabling one to grow into adulthood and to approach the ideal of becoming a true adult. At this point, it is worthwhile to turn to the film Matilda. The story depicts a brilliant child’s journey to find her true family. This film is significant in that it juxtaposes immature adults with a mature child, thereby prompting us to reflect upon and reconsider the role of adults.
In the opening scene, the newborn Matilda is gazed upon by her father. This moment symbolically illustrates that the first figures any child encounters are parents. It suggests that adulthood, and ultimately true adulthood, begins with the role of the parent. Yet in the film, Matilda’s parents display irresponsibility and egocentrism, revealing how adulthood can be undermined when the parental role is absent. Likewise, Principal Trunchbull, though the representative authority of an educational institution, exhibits only authoritarian control devoid of care or nurturing, exemplifying the archetype of an immature adult. Her massive physique and uniform-like attire exaggerate the appearance of adult authority, yet resemble a child’s parody of adulthood. Through such characterization, the film conveys the immaturity of adults both directly and symbolically.
Although the depictions of Matilda’s parents and the principal may appear exaggerated, they symbolically represent the veiled realities of adulthood within our society. By amplifying and making visible these hidden aspects, the film compels us to critically reflect on the authority and violence of adults that we often overlook or normalize in daily life.
In contrast, Miss Honey, Matilda’s teacher, demonstrates genuine love and care for children. Ultimately, she adopts Matilda, willingly assuming the role of a parent. This illustrates that parenthood is not confined to biological reproduction or blood ties, but can be realized as a social and ethical role through responsibility and love. In this sense, Miss Honey embodies the concepts of the “psychological parent” and the “ethical caregiver,” presenting a possibility for true adulthood. True adulthood is not limited to fulfilling parental responsibility and love alone. Rather, as Miss Honey shows, it becomes possible when one practices an ethical disposition to embrace and care for others within both family and society. Put differently, true adults are not defined by blood relations or institutional status, but by embodying a comprehensive ethicality grounded in responsibility and love. Consequently, the love learned through family life and parenthood constitutes the very essence of true adulthood. This reveals that adulthood is not determined by biological age or social position, but is realized through the responsibility and love acquired in the exercise of parenthood. The true adulthood that is so difficult to encounter in life may, in fact, be manifested trough such practices within the realities of lived experience.
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After marriage, when the desire for a child arose, I became all the more curious about what it means to be a true adult. Interestingly, the dictionary lists “a married person” as the third definition of an adult. While adulthood cannot be reduced merely to marital status, I find a certain validity in this definition. Marriage is a profound process of unification that may serve as an important task for becoming an adult. For two different individuals to build one household is by no means easy. Especially when neither is diminished and both remain whole while becoming one, and further, when the birth of a child requires yet another process of becoming one, marriage may be understood as a rite of passage toward maturity.
We know well that maturity can only be achieved through a time of refinement, a process akin to “discipline by fire.” The family is the arena in which such refinement takes place, enabling one to grow into adulthood and to approach the ideal of becoming a true adult. At this point, it is worthwhile to turn to the film Matilda. The story depicts a brilliant child’s journey to find her true family. This film is significant in that it juxtaposes immature adults with a mature child, thereby prompting us to reflect upon and reconsider the role of adults.
In the opening scene, the newborn Matilda is gazed upon by her father. This moment symbolically illustrates that the first figures any child encounters are parents. It suggests that adulthood, and ultimately true adulthood, begins with the role of the parent. Yet in the film, Matilda’s parents display irresponsibility and egocentrism, revealing how adulthood can be undermined when the parental role is absent. Likewise, Principal Trunchbull, though the representative authority of an educational institution, exhibits only authoritarian control devoid of care or nurturing, exemplifying the archetype of an immature adult. Her massive physique and uniform-like attire exaggerate the appearance of adult authority, yet resemble a child’s parody of adulthood. Through such characterization, the film conveys the immaturity of adults both directly and symbolically.
Although the depictions of Matilda’s parents and the principal may appear exaggerated, they symbolically represent the veiled realities of adulthood within our society. By amplifying and making visible these hidden aspects, the film compels us to critically reflect on the authority and violence of adults that we often overlook or normalize in daily life.
In contrast, Miss Honey, Matilda’s teacher, demonstrates genuine love and care for children. Ultimately, she adopts Matilda, willingly assuming the role of a parent. This illustrates that parenthood is not confined to biological reproduction or blood ties, but can be realized as a social and ethical role through responsibility and love. In this sense, Miss Honey embodies the concepts of the “psychological parent” and the “ethical caregiver,” presenting a possibility for true adulthood. True adulthood is not limited to fulfilling parental responsibility and love alone. Rather, as Miss Honey shows, it becomes possible when one practices an ethical disposition to embrace and care for others within both family and society. Put differently, true adults are not defined by blood relations or institutional status, but by embodying a comprehensive ethicality grounded in responsibility and love. Consequently, the love learned through family life and parenthood constitutes the very essence of true adulthood. This reveals that adulthood is not determined by biological age or social position, but is realized through the responsibility and love acquired in the exercise of parenthood. The true adulthood that is so difficult to encounter in life may, in fact, be manifested trough such practices within the realities of lived experience.
